The no hair day

It was some 13 years back when I entered college with lot of dreams and hopes of a fun filled life ahead. So much of color around, lot of fun, trendy clothes making fashion statements, remodeled bikes and cars all around – those were the days, which everyone would long never ends. Within weeks I made a lot of friends, and found two more of them to be my best pals for life. Life was looking bright until one day it happened. I started realizing I was having a minor hair loss problem. Every time I used to comb my hair before some girl crosses me I would find a few strands of hair on the comb. But few strands of hair falling do not stop you from combing the hair right. Then I had to confess to my two best pals Munna and Bunty that I have started losing hair. To my surprise both of them responded by saying “Ya we too are having the same problem”. I felt overjoyed to know I had two of my best friends for company. We immediately called a square table conference in the canteen to find out ways to arrest this problem; we discussed lot of hair-raising techniques and finally concluded that Ayurvedic products are the best. We then chose this special hair oil, which would arrest hair loss in less than two weeks. All you had to do was apply it overnight with a good massage and wash it of with a shampoo the next day morning. So started the experiment on the first day. The more I rubbed the oil in my head the higher was the number of hair in my hand. The number of strands that fell off was far more than what it would have been on a normal day. I decided to shelve the oil technique. Munna too felt the same about oil technique. Then we started searching for alternative therapies. Munna gave one bright idea “ lets shave of our head completely, that way there is going to be no hair to fall”. No way!!! I was not going to let my “CROWNING GLORY “ go down in some barbershop. It was my hairstyle that won me so much of admirers in college. So I opted out of that idea. That’s when we got close to this affluent gujju guy in our class. He was only too happy to know he had three other guys with the same problem. He said we could try hair transplants. He could afford it, his father was a businessman and he was ready to spend his fortune to see the hair back on his head. I just enquired about the cost of a hair transplant --- the figure he said sounded like my fathers annual income. Ok I had to shelve the idea. Then came the most valuable suggestion from one of our feminine classmate. She said we should be applying egg whites on your head for half an hour and wash it later. “Three times a week and see how your hair grows” was her optimistic words. Hot summer Sunday afternoon we went out not minding the sun and bought eggs, and we decided group therapy should be better this time. Munna was the first guy on whose head we applied a thin layer of egg white. I think his head was a bit hot because of the venture in the hot sun that the egg white almost started to appear like a half boiled omelet. I suggested we should have got some bread also and breakfast would have been over. We had to shelve the egg technique. Then we all decided one of us should meet a skin specialist to find out the reason for hair loss. The best way to solve a problem was to go to the root cause of the problem. It was Bunty who was nominated to make the visit to the doctor. The doctor’s diagnosis was discussed in our square table conference next day. “ The reasons for hair loss could be Stress, pressure, hereditary, lack of healthy nutrition and water. I agreed we were under stress “ the stress of losing hair was the main stress we had”. Then we decided not think or worry much about losing hair and just made one fast decision that all of us should get married before we lose all the hair. So the hunt for the girl began. The gujju guy was lucky as usual, by the time he was in his second year his family had roped a girl from his native village and soon he was married. After a few weeks we decided to visit this gujju guy as he had taken a long honeymoon break and did not return to college. All three of us wanted to see how his hormone treatments + Ayurvedic shampoos + hair loss therapy was working. Here we are waiting to knock the door of his house, we heard his wife screaming at him. She said “You spend more time in front of the mirror than me and the amount you spend on all these hair tonics should be enough for an entire family of ten to eat for a year”. We decided it was time to knock the door and save our friend. The door opened “ I quipped in my own satirical way when she opened the door, “ Are we disturbing you now ?”. No No she responded “I am just scolding my husband I can do that later so please come in”. Family support was lacking in our efforts to raise hair. Months rolled to year, and year to years, here we are still waiting for the day when one of us would go bald completely. From a state of fear of losing hair we had got tuned the spirit of “who-will-lose-all–hair- first” attitude. But efforts to save whatever is left still continues with new tools and techniques like carrot juice, rabbit blood and vitamin b capsules. Baldness has found a way into our life in the form of humour. One of our balding friends who resembled south Indian music director Harris Jayaraj has been renamed Hair- no Jayaraj.

Before I end I need to thank all the shampoo companies, doctors, friends and well-wishers because of whom from having more hair to comb and less face to wash years back I have less hair to comb and more face to wash today.